Sunday, January 1, 2012

Don't Let The Door Hit You On Your Way Out, 2011

Wowee. What a year, am I right? One of the hardest I have endured, to date. For 2012, I wish for myself, a year far better than the last one. I don't care how. I just want it to be....better.

That is not to say that 2011 didn't serve it's purpose. It constantly amazes me how much I continue to change as I grow older (and hopefully wiser too!). I think I have become a much better, more loving, definitely more compassionate, more understanding, kinder person all around. And for that, I am grateful for 2011. Without the many trials I felt we went through during the year, I wouldn't be what I am as I sit here and write this today, at the start of a brand spankin' new year. A clean slate. It's such a great feeling to me.

A lot happened in this last year. If you remember THIS post, I wasn't prepared to share it all, which is unusual for me. I am usually quite the open book, but some things that happened were pretty much the straw that broke the camel's back, and I pulled away from basically everyone and everything. I was in survival mode. I was confused. I asked "why" a lot. I cried a lot. I prayed a lot. And thankfully, through that prayer, I received enlightenment and understanding. I felt a greater love than I had ever known from my Father in Heaven and His Son Jesus Christ. I had prayers answered. I learned more about the gospel, which I believe to be true, with every part of my being. I studied the scriptures. I grew, in many more ways than one. I realized that I CAN do hard things, and that is okay for life to be hard, and also to admit that it isn't perfect.

Which, it isn't. And why are people afraid to admit that? Believe me, I never thought that when I had 5 kids and had been married 9 1/2 years, that my husband and I would be struggling financially. I never thought I would have the health problems that I do. I never thought that other people's choices would have a direct influence on mine and my family's life. And yet, all those have come to be true. Those things have been my struggles, our struggles. My husband lost his job twice last year. Our renter's in Utah stopped paying their rent for months. I had a bunch of medical issues arise and when you don't have health insurance, that amounts to lots and lots of medical bills. It was bleak. I was overwhelmed.

Thankfully, I have amazing people in my life. Positive, uplifting people, through which I believe many prayers were answered. I have my faith. I have the temple. I have the scriptures. I have my God. Without those things, I don't know if I would have wanted to see what 2012 held in store for us. Like trials and hard times always do, with time, they became easier to bear. Some of them were resolved all together, for which I am grateful on a daily basis. My husband found a new job after another 3.5 months of unemployment (6 months altogether last year) and he is absolutely loving his new job. We got some new, really great, renters. I had some good, manageable news with some of my recent medical tests. Life became easier. But, these things only became better after I made a conscience effort to be happy, despite my trials. I had to remind myself of all of the wonderful blessings I do have. I have 5 amazing, terrific, fun, loving children. I have the best family anyone could ask for. I have an amazingly supportive ward. I have incredible friends who were always there with a listening ear. And last of all, I have a husband who is just THAT wonderful that I can't think of words enough to describe him. I have a great and blessed life. It's definitely not perfect, but it surely wonderful.

So, although I am greatly looking forward to what 2012 has in store for me, I can't completely dismiss 2011 as much as I would like to. It helped me become what I am now, which is a better person all around. I chose my word for 2012, which will be "Moderation". Do you remember what last year's was? I think I lived up to my goal, and I'm proud of myself. This year, as we struggle to get back on top, "moderation" is just what I need. Everything in moderation is good, yes? Yes.

And lastly, I have finally decided that for now, I will not be taking my blog private. I greatly considered it, being that my blog is mainly just our family happenings, but I just feel like it's the right thing for now to keep it public. If I can help even 1 person from my ramblings, it would be worth it. So, thanks for reading friends! I'm glad you're here.

Well, enough blabbering! Onto our New Year's Celebration! We rang in 2012 with some great friends. There was lots of good food, fun games, and many many children afoot. We had an amazing end to the year.
And I got a New Year's smooch from this handsome fella. I know. You're jealous.

Daphne couldn't make it to midnight. But, we woke her up. We're mean parents like that. She cried. We laughed.

Down the street from our friend's house, someone was shooting off lots of fireworks. We ran out and yelled and hugged and kissed, kids and adults alike.
It was just what I needed to start the New Year off right.

I just had to add this picture. Daphne and Bear were so tired, and we made them come out to see the fireworks. Hilarious.

Happy New Year to all. I hope it's your best yet!


Nessa @{Casa Braaflat} said...

we had a rough 2011 too. can't wait to see what 2012 has in store!

Dave and Kristin Dirkmaat said...

Yes, I agree, so many neighbors and friends we have hated 2011 so various reasons! I feel like 2012 will be better for everyone! You are so strong and I know i am inspired by your blog!