Friday, November 15, 2013

I'll Go Ahead And Admit It, I'm a Terrible Driver

(mostly because I take pictures of myself when I should be paying attention to the road...?! That's a joke by the way.)

So yes, it's true and I am finally ready to admit my lack of stellar driving skills.  I have a problem with hitting things. Mostly stationary things. Sad, but true.

This all came to light a couple weeks ago. I was having a bit of a stressful day (as per my usual) and running late (as per my usual) and I had to take Laylah to dance and Jonah to football practice. I wasn't paying close enough attention (as per my usual) and backed right into our neighbor's parked car. It was parked on the street in front of their house and with our Giant Beast of a car's bumper hitting it, it didn't stand a chance. The side of their car crumpled like paper. Of course, there was no damage to our car.

Now, this wouldn't have been as big of a deal (that's what insurance is for after all), if I hadn't done the exact same thing only six months before!!!

It's true. Six months before, I had hit their car that was parked in front of their house on the street by backing into it because I was in a hurry and not paying attention. At least it wasn't the exact same car. It was their other one. Believe you me, they sure don't park in the street anymore. They use their driveway now. As they should with me around.

After Andy cleared up my mess with the insurance company for a second time, we started joking about all of the stationary things I had hit in our marriage and even previous to our marriage (that my dad had to take care of.... thanks dad! You're the best!)

The first time I ever hit a parked care was a mere month after receiving my license. It was in Smith's parking lot. I was driving my parent's enormous van that was full of my girlfriends because we had gone to get snow cones. I was distracted and turned a corner too close and side-swiped a parked car. I cried. It was terrible. My dad was so understanding and kind. I will always remember that when (when, not if) my kids get into their first fender bender.

Another time I was backing out of my parents driveway about a year later and hit my sister's boyfriend's friend's (you got that?) car. It was actually his parent's and (funny side story) they are in our current ward. Luckily they don't even remember, but I do. I totally could have gotten away with it, but I chose to be honest. My dad wasn't as understanding this time, haha!

Another time I was having a hard day (it's always when I'm having a hard day! Always.) and I backed our car (the Expedition aka Beast that we still own. Man, that car has held up well! They sure don't make 'em like they used to) into our apartment complex parking garage. It did leave a mark that is still there because we never got it fixed.

Once I was backing out of my neighbor's driveway. I had dropped something off to her. I backed into her neighbor's car that was parked in the street. It was old piece of crap car and we offered them $100 to just forget about it. They agreed.

Another time I was borrowing my mom's car when we were visiting from Virginia. I went to the grocery store and I was in a hurry because Magnus was hungry and crying (I was breastfeeding at the time) so I hurried and backed out of the parking stall. I wasn't paying attention (of course) and hit a cement pole that was blocking the grocery cart stalls. That one definitely left a mark. My dad was a little frustrated that time around too (but still kind! I have to mention that, because I can hardly believe the patience that man possesses. For real! He's the best :)

And so it goes, on and on. I have a half dozen more stories just like these ones. I promise I am trying to be better. It's an ongoing process apparently. So, if you see me driving down the road, I would actually just turn around and drive as fast away from me as you can ;)


Chillygator said...

If it makes you feel better, not long after Jenny got her license, we were camping in St. George and she wanted to drive the car somewhere, which meant backing it out. She was kind of bragging about what an amazing driver she was (because she's and she's nothing if not confident) and my entire family, aunts, uncles and cousins, decided to watch her back out. The only thing in the area was sand, sage brush and the one sign that she of course used to make a huge scrape down the ENTIRE side of the van. She jumped out of the car, ran into a tent and cried while we all laughed. It was fun and amazing (o:

Of course I was driving my mom's car out of the Church Office Building once, saw a security guy at the booth who I had a crush on, tried to make eyes, didn't pay attention, turned to sharp and dented/scraped the entire middle side of the car by hitting a concrete pole. With the guy laughing.

Also there was the time I forgot to look as I backed up and hit my brother-in-law's car (within about six months my dad, grandpa and I all backed into his car) which was parked right behind me... And then the time I wasn't paying attention and drove too close to a post and took off the side view mirror while my parents were out of town. I got it all fixed and it would have been fine if my mom hadn't found the receipt while cleaning some things out. DARN.

Driving is clearly not always a damage-free activity (o:

Emily H said...


Sarah said...

Kristy, I am dying laughing! Thanks for making me feel better about my skillz...

Emily-tell me about it!