Jonah Update

Well, Jo had another eye dr. appointment, and we were pretty discouraged this time. I was hoping he had doubled his improvement again, but he didn't even come close. In fact, he hasn't improved AT ALL. The dr. said he is still where he was 8 weeks ago. He said that Jo will have to double his patch wearing time, and also he will have to have drops put in his eye twice a week that will dialate his eye. It will make his vision blurry in his good eye, so that even when he is not wearing the patch, his good eye will have a hard time seeing and his bad eye will have to do most of the work. I know how horrible this is because of my iritis. The drops burn so bad and it is so frustrating to have blurry vision all the time. I feel so bad for Jo, I just broke down in the car on the way home and started bawling. I felt like a terrible mother, like I could have tried harder, or done more, so that my little boy wouldn't have to go through more than he already has to. I was so frustared for the most part because the dr. said that if he doesn't have any improvement in the next 8 weeks, there will be nothing more we can do. He will just be blind in his left eye. It makes me sad because Jonah talks about being an astronaut, or a pilot when he grows up, and of course, he would probably never really do that, but I hate to have the option taken away from him. It's so hard being a parent and having to see your kids go through something so hard. I just wish I could go through it for them. Jonah hates the patch, and now with the increased time he has to wear it, he has to have it on during school, and I just hope kids are nice to him and he doesn't get made fun of. Being a mom is hard! I don't want to get all churchy, but it really reminds me of our Heavenly Father; how must he feel when we have trials to go through. He must want to just take all the pain away, knowing he can't, else we would never progress. I know Jonah will learn from this experience, even at such a young age, but I really wish he didn't have to. I just love him, and all my kids so much. If I would have known being a mom was so hard... I know I still would have done it :)